I'm one of those kundalini yoga-ing, crystal wearing, look-up-at-the-moon kind of chicks, but I wasn't always that way...
Part I : Setting the Stage
Looking back, I can see that I was beginning to raise my vibration and walk the spiritual path even in 2010.
I have always been passionate about the environment. An indigo-fairy-child at heart, I even hosted a Save the Environment Club with my friends (STEC I called it). As I progressed into adulthood, I studied biology, and Buddhism, and learned about the interconnectivity of all things. I also began the process of detoxification from chemicals and irritants in my inner world. I began working through more natural and holistic methods for cleaners, bathing, and healing.
I transitioned from a fairly unregulated diet to one first devoid of red meat (I was never really into pork or steak much anyway), then slowly devoid of chicken. As I progressed deeper and deeper into the spiritual path, I aligning my energetic sensitivities with the lighter diet they craved. I made more and more changes to my diet, including dropping gluten and dairy and only eating a few cheats occasionally.
Unbeknownst to me (as I was an unrealized astrologer yet), Uranus was moving through my 6th house in Aries, completely reinventing all of my diet, health, and routines that made up my lifestyle. As a Virgo we are alll about the routines too. In fact, it was slowly beginning to reinvent my self identity too.
Alongside this move to vegetarianism (and now selective veganism), Neptune in Pisces was opposing my Virgo planets, providing me with an even deeper spiritual rebirth. In 2012, I was drawn to take up kundalini yoga. I had been a dancer for much of my childhood life and always loved dance, yoga, and exercise, but something about this modality particularly drew me to it.
I started an at home practice with kundalini yoga that began to truly change my life. I now joke that kundalini Yoga was my "gateway drug to spirituality". In truth, I was raising my vibrations and unblocking my chakras since 2012, perhaps with the grace of past life knowledge behind me.
Part II : The Pandora's Box
Then, my spiritual journey started in a big way in 2015: my Dad transitioned into spirit.
At that time I was launched fully into understanding I was energetically sensitive, and, in fact, an empath. I actually had a premonition dream before he died, and was raked with anxiety as I processed my own grief, my family's grief, and my Dad's energy now in spirit. He has now become one of my guides and we communicate with each other in meditation and dream time. I love you Dad! I was fortunately working with a self-love coach at the time, and through that connection I learned about grounding and shielding crystals. I began working with protective crystals like black tourmaline, black obsidian, and more.
Part III: Mentoring with Mermaids
I realized that I needed to learn about and connect deeper with ancient spiritual knowledge and that of studying the divine feminine.
Thereafter, I was beginning to learn about the angels and calling upon them for support. I began seeking the help of angel card readers and deepening my knowledge of crystals and archangels. I solicited the help of an angel card reader, Meagan Mermaid, to help me navigate the spiritual hand holding I was craving.
I became her first soul coaching client, and she and I good friends. Through our sessions together, I began to re-access my spiritual connection to what would become my two primary mystery school lineages for strength and inspiration, that of ancient Egypt and Celtic/Pagan.
I also was connected with the work of Tricia McCannon and her book The Return of the Divine Sofia. It literally blew my entire spiritual knowledge base wide open. It allowed me to connect more Christian roots from my upbringing with more spiritual, esoteric knowledge, and simultaneously teach me all the intricacies of the divine feminine and how it had been oppressed throughout history and time.
I also connected with the work of Sage Goddess, Medical Medium, past life regressionists, and akashic record readers. In short, no topic or spiritual realm was off limits of exploration to explore my soul, psyche, and past life knowledge.
During this time, I studied to become a Certified Angel Card Reader, and, having already been entrepreneurial, realized a perfect harmony of my desires and talents was to catapult myself into a spiritual business.
Part IV: Let it All Fall Down
However, just when we are thinking we are about to lift off, life has a way of redirecting us...
In the summer of 2016 a dark veil descended upon me. Looking back with astrology, I now understand that I was going through a Jupiter transit blessing many of my Virgo planets. But under the cloak of that, I was under a heavy Saturn transit. Once the Jupiter transit (a shorter one) lifted, it was allll Saturn that was unearthed. As my Saturn strongly squares my Mercury, it all very much affected my mind and sense of optimism.
The first Saturn return can cause deep life restructuring, hard wake up calls, and deep depression or internal stress/pressure. I experienced all of these things. I slipped into a deep, dark place trying to process what to do about a long term, faltering toxic relationship I was in, confusion about my career, and uncertainties about basic needs like housing, money, food.
I was as isolated and alone as I could be, and with so much uncertainty about where I would be putting my head to pillow in one months time. Unfortunately, it was just the beginning of a long spell of hardship I suffered through. Those who know me best know the deepest, innermost details of just how much pain I went through at this time and how much I almost did not make it out the other side.
During this time, I had an out of body experience in which I saw my higher self as well as my present self, and became present to detaching from the present reality in a deep, trance like guided meditation. I also explored drum journeying and found solace in drum circles, where you can connect with the still beating heart of the Earth-beat sound, the deep and resonant medicine it provides.
I also discovered pendulums for energy clearing, energy clearing techniques, EFT and Abraham Hicks, all teachers, tools, and techniques for clearing and raising one's energy frequency. I still integrate and use these modalities on a daily basis.
Part V: Back to the Root
I had to go back, far back to press the reset button...
Being confused, alone, separated from my dog, and not having the answers I needed, it became apparent the universe was pointing a finger for me to return back to my childhood home and move back in with a relative for a time. I needed grounding, a womb space, and separation from all that was in the different part of the country I was living in.
This move was by no means easy. I didn't want to do it, and fought it tooth and nail, even in the 3, then 6, then 9, then 12+ months I was back in my home state. It required a lot, a lot, a lotttt of surrender. It just wasn't a place I wanted to end up being in, and I was angry and confused with the universe for feeling like I was "forced" to go there.
The positive of the situation was that I was reunited with my dog, my deepest soul love and starlight being of my life, and I had a safe space to process my grief...all of my grief about many, many things in my life. In this space, for almost two years straight the only thing that made sense to me was my spirituality, and I applied myself like a day before the final exam student to cramming in as much spiritual knowledge as I could.
I studied all things full and new moon rituals (thank you Sage Goddess!), crystals, archangels, and, perhaps most potently, astrology. I also used this time to apply more fully the deeper nutritional knowledge I had learned from the Medical Medium but had not had time to fully integrate. And in this revised process of nutritional exploration, I embraced going 95% plant based and gluten free, and The Fairy Foodie was born.
Part VI: Rinse, Repeat
Then began the investigation into that watery, moon space of the subconscious...
As the stars stars shifted, yet again, Jupiter moved into my 12th house of Libra where my moon sign was. For all of that year and then some, I began to investigate deeper and deeper repressed feelings, sensitivities, emotional attachments, and wounds from both past and present. I used astrology to guide me through deeper guidance around spiritual "Whys" and balanced this with past life regressions and deep, deep soul searching.
I was in a sea of push-pull energies navigating my own emotional healing while also examining how I wanted to define my career and personal identity from that point onwards. I navigated intense personal and financial pressures and taught myself just how much I could "hang on". I connected with the wisdom of Ascended Masters and discovered the work of Kaia Ra for deeper, stronger undercurrents of spiritual transformation and preservation. I was also beginning to really walk the path of the long term Pluto square Moon transit I fell under. Spirituality guided me and held my hand, like a tool the entire way.
Part VII: Me Today
And then, all of a sudden, there is me...
As I write this for you looking ahead into 2020, I see myself, more whole, more complete, more hardened to that which life can throw at you emotionally. I have been all things and been all places- emotionally, spiritually, physically. I am always growing, always healing. But I know who I am, and what I need. I am present to the cycles and rhythms I am under, thanks to knowing my own astrology.
I know when to mother myself, what I need to eat, and when, and when I can "cheat". I know the struggles I have been through and that the perseverance and contrast I have gone through cannot be taken away from me.
I know my strengths, my weaknesses...and I am always surprising myself too.
As I deepen and deepen my work in this lifetime every day, I credit my higher self, my guides, my angels, my map and compass of the stars for illuminating my path, leading the way.
I know life is undulating, sometimes messy, sometimes chaotic, but intricately powerful all at once.
I know- from the deepest depths of my being- that through my struggles, I came here to witness..and to serve...because I have been there too, dear one.
Will you come with me?